The Lamborghini Lament

DSC02155lam002

When Lamborghini first rumored they were going to be building a new SUV, I was super excited. I remembered the first one they made, the LM002, and what an outlandish, absurd, and over the top vehicle it was. It was a brutish vehicle that looked like it was in the military reserves one weekend a month, two weeks out of the year. It then would practice law by day, and shuffle the family from horse riding lessons and ballet at night. It was amazing. At least, it has become that iconic to me. I have never driven it but, I guess, I just have this perception, this expectation of what it is.

So when they released the Urus, I was a bit taken aback. That was not the SUV I was envisioning. Now, I know it has not been tested yet. I know that when they conceived this vehicle, they did not know that Ford would be rumoring the return of the Bronco, or that Jeep would be rumoring the return of the Grand Wagoneer. All the big players in the off road game, like Hummer, Land Rover, Jeep, Mercedes G Class, Lexus, and the Ford Raptor should have been worried. The more luxurious ones and soon to be ones, Bentley, Rolls Royce, Maserati should have taken note. Instead, they made something that looks like “an urban mom” would drive, as my wife described.

Harken back farther than the 80s and you’ll remember that Lamborghini made tractors before it made sports cars. Yes, that’s right tractors. In fact, they still make tractors. With all those years of agricultural earth crawling and hauling knowledge, why could they not have applied that to a new SUV? They could have made it rugged, rambunctious, and ridiculous. They have all the right ingredients to make something fast, powerful, and luxurious. It would have been beyond capable, practically at home, off road, to outperform the competition in every conceivable way.

I really wanted the Lamborghini SUV to be a gorilla in a tuxedo. A big, bulky, but surprisingly good looking sight that you can’t take your eyes off of because it is just…bewildering. Its performance would be as obnoxious as expected, but with enough charm that you can’t blame it. These are all qualities that I think are in the lineage of the company and were expressed in the LM002.

Maybe I will put a poster up on my wall like many kids did back in the day with their dream cars. This time, the poster will just be filled with words. Words about a car, because it only exists in my dreams.

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Maybach may not be back

Report: Maybach to get facelift in Beijing before brand gets the axe

If a recent report out of the UK is to be believed, Maybach is set to get the axe in the very near future. However, as a last hurrah, all three models from the ultra-luxury division of Mercedes-Benz (57, 62 and Landaulet) will receive facelifts this year. The last round of top-zoot Maybachs will debut in late April at the Beijing Motor Show. Expect the changes to the lineup to be very minor – new grilles and LED lights should be about the only differences from the sedans currently on sale.

So, why kill off Maybach? Ever since the brand was resurrected in 2002, it has suffered from very slow sales. Not surprising, considering the high price tags, comparatively low content levels and the hard financial times the world has fallen on in recent years. Furthermore, parent company Mercedes-Benz has big plans to expand the S-Class range, which includes adding more upmarket versions which should fill the void of Maybach’s current offerings. Look for the new S-Class to arrive in 2014, along with a fully updated version of the R-Class people-mover, as well.

Steven J. Ewing article found on Autoblog

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I first came across Maybach around my sophomore year of high school when I found one for sale on Ebay motors in the miscellaneous cars category. I thought initially, “holy crap! Why is this thing so expensive?!” After some brief reading and browsing of photos of this massive land luxury vehicle on a golf course, I found out why.

I instantly had an inclination that it was Mercedes related, simply by design. Finding out I was correct on that, I was now pleased to be exposed to a new vehicle!

So, over the past few years, I have stopped browsing Ebay motors, and realized that Maybach is not in the news much. Until I come across an article like this.

Hmmm…will I be sad that Maybach is gone? To be honest, yes. Especially with Bugatti coming out with their new exotic luxury sedan, even though technically, Bugatti and Maybach are nowhere near in comparison except possibly in price.

I do think that the “exotic” part of Maybach is possibly part of the reason of why it will not continue within the next few years. With Aston Martin, Porsche, and soon to be Lamborghini and Bugatti all playing around with exotic sports sedans, Maybach has no performance as much to match what these vehicles can do.

But even if you put it in a realm that it would compete in. Rolls Royce and Bentley have long set the standard for ultra luxury sedans. With such a limited number of vehicles and a less known name plate, Maybach has had an uphill battle since its rebirth. However, it will be sad to see it go, simply because it was one more vehicle that added to the finer things of life.

We The People…who own cars

Dear Car Companies,

We the people realize that you design and build cars for a living. We highly appreciate your talent and dedication to your craft because without you, about 98 percent of us would still be walking to the Seven Eleven down the block.

We recognize that you have been in this business a long time and have a built some pretty incredible machines. However, times are changing and we would like to tell you something. May we ask you for your attention for just a moment.

You have done pretty well thus far feeding us vehicles that we think we need. Actually, it is more like vehicles you think we need. However, you would be lying to yourself if you think you are giving us what we want.

As a person myself, I am taking the role of ambassador to relay important information. I will give you things that we the people are looking for in a car. We want vehicles with incredibly, let me rephrase that, RIDICULOUSLY good gas mileage. But you can’t just give us that, because up until this point, the ones that have done so, have looked like crap. Sorry.

We want the cars to look good, like something you’d buy at Tiffany’s, not the jewelry center at as Wal-Mart. Cheap imitation isn’t going to cut it anymore. We are smart, and can pick out the imposter a mile away. I promise, if you can deliver, we will pay.

A third thing we want is practicality. Don’t give us a seven passenger vehicle if really the only people who could fit in the back seats are children. If you say seven adults comfortably, prove it. Pick-up trucks, vans, cars; get people to drive them to tell you what is practical so you don’t have to guess. If you are right the first time, you don’t have to come up with some lame excuse for a cheap imposter vehicle.

Lastly, we want performance. There are only 24 hours in a day, so the fastest way we can get to 60 miles an hour, or more, is important. A smooth ride and great handling are critical because roads and traffic are terrible now days and we have to be able to dodge a bump, or take one, and the car has to last. Here’s an idea. Start with a race car, add the previous elements of gas mileage, looks, and practicality, and still end up with a race car. Done, walk away.

And, as a side note, don’t name these wonderful machines absurd names. Really think about what it is you have created and name it appropriately. If you have any questions, consult us. You can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, or any other online social network known to man. But listen to what we are saying back to you, seriously. We can easily start walking to the Seven Eleven down the street.

Sincerely,

We the People